Category Archives: Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve: Opening the Ancient Door


On Christmas Eve 1960

It was a childhood discovery, more than 50 years ago, within the 1920’s home of my grandmother,  in North Carolina:

In the center of the house was a fully enclosed, square hall.

Four doors, located north, south, east, and west, opened up from the hall, into various rooms.

The hall contained the stairway to the second floor.

I climbed the stairs and located two doors, one on either side of the landing.

I opened one of the doors, which revealed a guest room.

Inside the room, I opened an interior door, which led to a clothes-closet or “wardrobe.”

I stepped inside:  It was small, dark, musty, and crowded with hanging clothes.

I pushed aside the hanging clothes and discovered that – lo and behold!  A secret door was hidden at the back of the wardrobe!

I opened this concealed door and stepped into a cavernous attic room, filled with sunlight.

I squinted my eyes, to adjust to the brightness.

I positioned a chair underneath a large window.  I climbed up and opened the window latch.

 

I stood on tip-toes to scan the wide, clear sky and to breathe in the crisp, cold air.

” . . . ‘Mere’ Christianity is like a hall out of which doors open to several rooms . . . it is in the rooms, not in the hall, that there are fires and chairs and meals.   

The hall is a place to wait in, a place from which to try the various doors, not a place to live in.”

~~~C. S. Lewis, “Mere Christianity,”  1952

[Note: The complete excerpt is below.]

On Christmas Eve 2000

“Not all who wander are lost.”  [J. R. R. Tolkein]  

No; I was not lost — but I was a wanderer for 25 years, within the “hall” of contemporary evangelical churches, which endeavored to be inter-denominational or non-denominational.

I began to yearn for a more permanent residence:  one that embraced Community and Creed, Doxology and Theology, Faith and Reason.

Within this “hall,” on Christmas Eve 2000, I found a heavy, solid, ancient door and opened it:

Inside, I found a spacious room with fires and chairs and meals:

Fires: Here was the warmth of community with believers, not merely contemporary and local, but also historical and global.


Chairs:  Here was the sturdy foundation of Doctrine, based upon the Authority of Holy Scripture, assisted now by Faith, Reason, and Tradition.

Meals:  Here also was nourishment, not only from the reading and preaching of the Word, but also from the real and living Presence of Christ, in the Holy Eucharist.

Opening the heavy, solid, ancient door revealed yet another door:  a portal to the Creeds, Prayers, and Hymns of Ancient and Historic Christian Faith.

My wandering search had returned me full circle:

As a child, I attended Liturgical Worship Services, which shaped me in ways that were subtle, yet strong and sure, for as N. T. Wright reminds us:

The Liturgy is a means of grace; it is God ministering to us.”

The Language of Liturgy slowly unveils to us the meaning of its metaphors.

The Words of Worship strengthen and sustain us; they form and transform us.

The Language and Words, vast and ageless, are filled with Light and Life.

~~~Margot Blair Payne, Advent 2007; Revised Advent 2012

From the Introduction to “Mere Christianity:”

“I hope no reader will suppose that ‘mere’ Christianity is here put forward as an alternative to the creeds of the existing communions – as if a man could adopt it in preference to Congregationalism or Greek Orthodoxy or anything else.  It is more like a hall out of which doors open to several rooms.  If I can bring anyone into that hall I shall have done what I attempted.  But it is in the rooms, not in the hall, that there are fires and chairs and meals.  The hall is a place to wait in, a place from which to try the various doors, not a place to live in.  For that purpose the worst of the rooms [whichever that may be] is, I think, preferable.  It is true that some people may find they have to wait in the hall for a considerable time, while others feel certain almost at once which door they must knock at.  I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that is good for him to wait.  When you do get into your room you will find that the long wait has done you some kind of good, which you would not have had otherwise.  But you must regard it as waiting, not as camping.  You must keep on praying for light:  and, of course, even in the hall, you must begin trying to obey the rules which are common to the whole house.  And above all, you must be asking which door is the true one, not which pleases you best by its paint and paneling.  In plain language, the question should never be, ‘Do I like that kind of service?’ but ‘Are these doctrines true:  Is holiness here?  Does my conscience move me toward this?  Is my reluctance to knock at this door due to my pride, or my mere taste, or my personal dislike of this particular door-keeper?’

When you have reached your own room, be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall.  If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them.  That is one of the rules common to the whole house.”

~C. S. Lewis, excerpt from the book, Mere Christianity, 1952, Macmillan Publishing.

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. . . That Mourns In Lonely Exile . . .

Dear Family & Friends,

My Guest Blogger today is my daughter, Haley Stewart.  You can find her blog at:  Carrots for Michaelmas.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel has always been my favorite carol.  I love the ancient chant-like melody and the images it conjures: monks singing by candlelight and waiting to celebrate the coming of the Light of the World, while a cold, dark winter lingers on.  It has many beautiful verses but the first and most familiar is:

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel

And ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel

It is, of course, a particularly fitting verse for Advent, when we prepare for the coming of Our Lord. This Advent, I have come to understand better what it means because it’s been a dark Advent. In November, dear friends lost a child at birth. Their incomprehensible grief and the loss we have all experienced, as we miss their daughter we will never have the opportunity to know, made the uncertainty of this life more present.  We are not guaranteed lives free of pain, in fact, quite the opposite.  We wait in exile.  And in exile there is grief.  So I have struggled with the darkness of our exile.  How do we live in a world of grief, pain, and uncertainty?  How do we love those around us, knowing that we might lose them? What does it mean to wait for Jesus?

St. Bernard of Clairvaux writes of three Advents:

One is in the past: Christ was born to the Blessed Virgin Mary, when God Incarnate came to rescue the world.

One is in the present:  Now is the time to prepare our hearts for Christ’s dwelling.

And one is in the future:  Christ will come again in glory.

During the Advent season, I usually only consider the past Advent, Christ’s Nativity.  After all, it’s complete and all that I need to do is remember what has happened and celebrate, on Christmas morning, what Our Lord has done. The other two Advents require more of me.  How do I prepare my heart for the Son of God to enter it?  And perhaps even more difficult:  How can I bear waiting for Christ’s return, in exile, amidst grief, pain, and uncertainty?

In the Advent carol, the first step is to long for Christ.  O come, O come, Emmanuel, God with us.  We long for Him because we have come to understand the difficult reality of our situation. Until we realize that placing our security in anything of this life is fruitless, we will not be able to long for Christ as we ought.  We are captives in this exile and we must understand our helplessness and need of a Savior.

I remember Zechariah, who was struck dumb during the miraculous pregnancy of his aging and previously barren wife, Elizabeth. Waiting. Yearning for new life as he anticipated the birth of his son, John the Baptist.  And ransom captive Israel that mourns in lonely exile here . . . Our exile.  It seems very dark.  But we have been given a gift, a promise that our exile will not last forever.  We have been given hope.  And our hope is a Living Hope —  for it is Christ himself. What makes the darkness and the waiting and the pain bearable is that it will come to an end. Zechariah will speak at the end of nine months.  A woman in labor will not be in pain forever.  Until the Son of God appear . . . In the darkness of our exile, we wait in joyful hope because He is coming.  He HAS come.  And He IS here.  Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.  The redemption of the world has happened in the Incarnation, it is happening in us and in the world  it will be fulfilled and completed.

How can we bear our exile?  I think I am learning that the answer is hope. With hope, we can say with Lady Julian of Norwich, even through our grief . . .And all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

 

Hail, Holy Queen, mother of mercy:

Hail, our life, our sweetness, and our hope.

To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve;

to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.

Turn then, most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy towards us;

and after this our exile show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.

Pray for us, O holy Mother of God.

That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

[Written by Haley Susan Stewart, Advent 2010; posted Advent 2011.]

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Silent Night, Holy Night . . .




Celebrate Christmas With Us!

Christmas Eve Services:

12.00 N

Candlelight Services:

5.00 PM

8.00 PM:  incense

11.00 PM:  incense

Christmas Day Service:

11.00 AM

Saint Peter’s Anglican Church

http://www.saint-peters.net

901 Thomasville Road

Tallahassee, FL  32303

850.701.0669

Childcare provided at all services.

Arrive early and enter the Sanctuary in silence.

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Interiors

The Second Sunday of Pentecost

Dear Faithful Family & Friends,

First, an update:  I am doing very well!  Herceptin infusions continue, once every three weeks, without any noticeable side effects. I am going strong with swimming and water aerobics.  I have worked back up to swimming one mile per session [about 2-3 times per week].

On May 10, Daniel & Haley & Benjamin moved here from Waco, TX.  They lived with us for three weeks and are now settling into their first home, which is only six houses away from Garrett’s home [and only minutes away from our home]!

Second, family and friends often ask me, “Why/when did you become Anglican?” I wrote “Interiors” a couple of years ago, in order to provide a brief answer to that question.  I begin with a quote by C. S. Lewis.

Interiors

“I hope no reader will suppose that ‘mere’ Christianity is here put forward as an alternative to the creeds of the existing communions – as if a man could adopt it in preference to Congregationalism or Greek Orthodoxy or anything else.  It is more like a hall out of which doors open to several rooms.  If I can bring anyone into that hall I shall have done what I attempted.  But it is in the rooms, not in the hall, that there are fires and chairs and meals.  The hall is a place to wait in, a place from which to try the various doors, not a place to live in.  For that purpose the worst of the rooms [whichever that may be] is, I think, preferable.  It is true that some people may find they have to wait in the hall for a considerable time, while others feel certain almost at once which door they must knock at.  I do not know why there is this difference, but I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that is good for him to wait.  When you do get into your room you will find that the long wait has done you some kind of good which you would not have had otherwise.  But you must regard it as waiting, not as camping.  You must keep on praying for light:  and, of course, even in the hall, you must begin trying to obey the rules which are common to the whole house.  And above all, you must be asking which door is the true one, not which pleases you best by its paint and paneling.  In plain language, the question should never be, ‘Do I like that kind of service?’ but ‘Are these doctrines true:  Is holiness here?  Does my conscience move me toward this?  Is my reluctance to knock at this door due to my pride, or my mere taste, or my personal dislike of this particular door-keeper?’

When you have reached your own room, be kind to those who have chosen different doors and to those who are still in the hall.  If they are wrong they need your prayers all the more; and if they are your enemies, then you are under orders to pray for them.  That is one of the rules common to the whole house.”

~C. S. Lewis, excerpt from the book, Mere Christianity, 1952, Macmillan Publishing.

 

The above imagery by Lewis reminds me of my childhood discovery on a wintry day at the 1920 home of my grandmother:

In the center of the house was a fully-enclosed, dark, square hall.  Four doors, located north, south, east, and west, opened up from the hall into various rooms.  Also, the central stairway was located inside the hall.  I climbed the stairs and located two doors, one to either side of the landing.  I opened one of the doors, which revealed a guest room.  Inside the room, I opened an interior door, which led to a dark, small, musty clothes-closet.  I pushed aside the hanging clothes and discovered that – lo and behold!  A secret door was hidden at the back of the clothes-closet!  I opened this concealed door and stepped into a cavernous attic room, filled with sunlight.  I squinted my eyes, to adjust to the brightness.  I positioned a chair underneath a large window.  I climbed up and opened the window latch.  I stood on tip-toes to scan the wide, clear sky and to breathe the crisp, cold air.

“Not all who wander are lost.” [Tolkein] I was not lost but I was a wanderer for 25 years within the “hall” of contemporary evangelical churches, which endeavored to be inter-denominational or non-denominational.  I began to yearn for a more permanent residence:  one that embraced Community and Creed, Doxology and Theology, Faith and Reason.

One Christmas Eve, 2000, I tried the door leading to Anglicanism, where I found fires, chairs and meals:  Here was the warmth of community with believers, not merely contemporary and local, but also historical and global.  Here was the sturdy foundation of doctrine, based upon the Authority of Holy Scripture, assisted now by Faith, Reason and Tradition.  Here also was nourishment, not only from the reading and preaching of the Word, but also from the real and living Presence of Christ, in the Holy Eucharist.

Opening the door to Anglicanism revealed yet another door:  a portal to the creeds, prayers, and hymns of ancient and historic Christian faith.  My search had brought me full circle:  As a child, I attended liturgical worship services, which shaped me in ways that were subtle, yet strong and sure, for as N. T. Wright reminds us, “The Liturgy is a means of grace; it is God ministering to us.”

The Language of Liturgy slowly unveils to us the meaning of its metaphors.  The Words of Worship strengthen and sustain us; they form and transform us.  The Language and Words, vast and ageless, are filled with light and life.

~~~Margot Blair Payne, Advent 2007

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