Margot’s Corner

Bill Van Hoy

 William [Bill] Ford Van Hoy, Jr. [1916-2007]

Bill, a Quaker leader and pacifist, qualified for Conscientious Objector [CO] status during WWII and was assigned to the Civilian Public Service [CPS].  This was a four-year duty, which paid room and board but no salary.  [Among other CPS projects, Bill worked on the Blue Ridge Parkway and the Inyo National Forest, CA.]

After WWII, Bill earned a Master’s of Divinity Degree from Duke University, with a major in Church History.  Later, he earned a Master’s Degree in Education from UNC-Chapel Hill.  His primary vocation was that of a public secondary school educator, in History. 

Bill married late in life, at age 48, to Lois Levering, 26, who had two small children from a previous marriage.  Bill adopted Teresa and Michael, lovingly raised them, and sent them both to college.  To this day, they both refer to him as “Daddy.”  Bill also invested decades of “fatherly” wisdom, guidance, counsel, and help to his niece and her three sons.  He and Lois had one biological child, a son, Sammy.  This beloved child died from leukemia in 1975, at the age of eight.

Bill retired from education, after almost 30 years, but he never retired from serving others.  He became an active community volunteer social worker, providing transportation for clients to medical and dental appointments, regularly traversing several counties in NC.

After Lois died, at age 51, in 1991, Bill never remarried.  Even after suffering this second major loss, he continued to engage in life and to invest in relationships. He regularly traveled to visit the families of Teresa and Michael and to college and family reunions.  He stayed mentally fit by reading and, in his late 70’s, he began a study of conversational Spanish.  Always an avid gardener, he also pursued physical fitness with swim lessons in his late 70’s and, until age 90, he enjoyed twice-weekly square dancing and monthly contra dancing!

At family reunions, over the decades, Bill relished the opportunity to show us photographs of his extensive travels in the U. S. and abroad. We endlessly teased him about his tendency to provide lengthy and detailed commentary.  [We urged him: “Break it down, Bill.“]  After his death, [at age 91] I read his memoirs and discovered anew his remarkable character and virtue.  His children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews remember him as “high-verbal” but, more importantly, we remember him as a man of intelligence and wisdom, courage and conviction, generosity and kindness, patience and humility.

 Uncle Bill, Round Four is dedicated to you!

 Coram Deo,

 Margo

P. S. Haley’s visit and the Messiah Sing were both glorious!  She is safely back home in TX.  Stephen & I leave tomorrow morning for Gainesville, for Chemo Round Four. 

Please pray that the chemo would perform its work of eradicating any errant cancer cells, that I would be spared from debilitating short-term and long-term side effects.  

Please also pray for safe travel for Daniel, Haley, and Benjamin, who will travel via car to TLHSE on December 22/23 and will return January 1/2. 

Henry Ossawa Tanner, 1898

ADVENT, by Fr. Michael Petty [Saint Peter’s Anglican Church, Tallahassee, FL]

“This Sunday marks the beginning of the season of Advent, a season of the Church year which consists of the four weeks before Christmas Day.  Advent is derived from the Latin word, “adventus,” meaning “coming” or “arrival.”  During this season, we have a dual focus in worship:   On one hand, we anticipate the celebration of Christ’s historical advent or birth in Bethlehem.  One the other hand, we anticipate the Christ’s final advent as the world’s Lord and Judge at the end of history.  The celebration of Advent helps us to place ourselves in the context of God’s redemptive purposes.  We live after the coming of Jesus Christ as the Messiah promised to Israel and before the coming of Jesus Christ to bring his work to its ultimate fulfillment. 

This season is intended by the Church to help us keep a proper focus during what has become, in our culture, a frenzied time with heavy commercial emphasis.  We spend this season most fruitfully, not by counting down the days to December 25, but by preparing ourselves to celebrate the Incarnation of the Son of God and by amending our lives in the anticipation of his promised return.  Advent is a season to slow down, to reflect, and to meditate on the great mercies of God.  To aid in this process, you may find it useful to read Scripture regularly during this Season.  Scripture readings for every day of the Advent Season can be found on page 937 and page 939 of The Book of Common Prayer.

The Advent Season comes to an end with the First Eucharist of Christmas, on Christmas Eve.  This Eucharist ushers the Church into the Season of Christmas, which lasts until January 6, the Feast of the Epiphany [the Twelve Days of Christmas].  Because we observe Christmas as a distinct season, you will notice that we do not make use of Christmas music during Advent.

Advent has been observed by the Church since the sixth century and, over time, many traditions have become associated with the season.  One of these traditions is that of the Advent Wreath, a circle of greenery with four blue candles on the circumference and a white candle in the center.  The Advent Wreath is a sign of hope; it is greenery displayed during the winter and candles lit as the days grow shorter.  On each of the four Sundays of Advent, a different candle is lit.  The first candle is the Patriarch’s Candle, reminding us of the Old Testament Patriarchs who anticipated the fulfillment of God’s promises.  The second is the Prophet’s Candle, reminding us of the Old Testament prophets who foretold of the Messiah’s birth.  The third is the John the Baptist Candle, reminding us of the prophet who proclaimed Christ’s advent.  The fourth is the Virgin Mary Candle, reminding us of Mary’s faithfulness in responding to God’s call to be the Mother of the Messiah.  The final candle, the Christ Candle, is lit on Christmas Eve.  As the winter darkness gathers, the light of the Advent Wreath increases and reminds us of the Light of God, shining in the darkness.  The lighting of the Advent Wreath is an act of lived hope, as the Church remember’s Christ’s birth and anticipates his return in glory.”

“O Come, O Come, Emmanuel . . . .”

Coram Deo,

Margo

Some Resources for Advent:

www.ToadilyHandmade.com:  100% beeswax Advent candles [with color!], a suggestion from my daughter, Haley Stewart.

“Watch for the Light:  Readings for Advent and Christmas,” Plough Publication House, a gift from my sister, Susan Blair Hollister.

“All Through the Day, All Through the Year:  Family Prayers and Celebrations,” by David B. Batchelder. Augsburg Press.

“The St. James Ecumenical Calendar of the Christian Year,” The Fellowship of St. James, www.fsj.org

P. S. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day!  I felt well and enjoyed eating a bit of everything!  We went to the home of the Bowers Family, in Tallahassee. They have been our dear friends for at least 15 years.  How thankful we are for our family and friends, who read this blog and continually pray for us!   

Chemo Round 4 is scheduled for December 11.

Dear Faithful Praying Family & Friends,

Stephen, my husband, is the Guest Blogger for this update.  This is from an email which he recently sent to a friend:

“We have had a challenging and, in some ways, wonderful six months.  Margo was diagnosed with breast cancer in June.  She had a double mastectomy, without reconstruction, in June and is now one-third through the ugly chemotherapy stuff.

It has been a stretch for both of us; however, our friends, family, and church have been a wonderful support.  We have seen God’s love through all of these.  The odd thing is that it was, in some ways, wonderful.  It has caused us to both pull together in ways that we have not needed to in the past.  We have faced challenges before; however, our lives, compared to many that we know, have been easy.  This has tested “who we say we are” and “what we say we believe.”  Margo is a model to me and others, as she walks through the humiliation of a flat, scarred chest; loss of hair; and the sickness associated with chemo.  She continues to swim.  When she feels up to it, we head to the pool and she swims over a mile, without stopping [flip turns at each end.]  Ten days after her surgery, she was in the pool.  I have never been a swimmer; however, how could I sit by the pool and watch her, without getting in myself?  I am becoming a decent swimmer myself.  I still cannot keep up with her.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[And now, from Margo:]

It is Day 8 after Chemo Round Three and, to my amazement, I am feeling tolerable.  No ER visit, no visit to the Walk-In-Clinic, not even a phone call to Dr. Carroll, for which he must be very thankful!  This past weekend, we enjoyed an impromptu causal alfresco supper on our deck with friends and enjoyed lunch and a delightful afternoon with out of town friends.  It is these normal moments of life for which I am thankful.  Of course, I am always thankful for each one of you who reads this blog and continuously prays for me.

Coram Deo,

Margo

Dear Faithful Praying Family & Friends:

Please be sure to read the “bonus” blog entry below this one!

William Ford Van Hoy [1889 to 1976]

 Listen to the words of my mother, Margaret Elizabeth Van Hoy Blair, summarizing the early life of her father, who was orphaned at age seven, when both his parents died of one of the “dread diseases” [either tuberculosis, pneumonia, or typhoid fever]: 

 “My father, William Ford Van Hoy, lived a ‘pillar to post’ life with grandparents, uncles, and aunts.  Finally, the most loving home was with “Uncle Mac” and “Aunt Sally” Martin, neither of whom was a blood relation to him.  It happened in this way:  William, age 10, went to the home of Uncle Mac and Aunt Sally and asked if he and his sister, Hattie, [five years younger than he] could live with them.  It brought tears to my eyes to learn of her answer:  ‘Bless your little heart, honey; you can be with us forever!’

 And, so, he and Hattie did live with them, until William decided to go to California, when friends asked him to join them in the oil fields.  He was a very small fellow, not strong enough for oil work, so he tended orange groves.  Later on, in 1914, my mother, Mittie Alma Joyner, traveled on the train from NC to Coalinga, CA and married my father in the hotel parlor.  William [Bill], my brother, was born in Coalinga in 1916.  My mother went back to NC for a year or two because she was very homesick.  I was born in Yadkinville, NC, during a snow storm, in 1918.

When “Uncle Mac” and “Aunt Sally” died many years later, William grieved for them, as if he had lost his own parents.”

 William and his wife had two children who survived birth:  William “Bill” Ford Van Hoy, Jr. and Margaret Elizabeth Van Hoy.  William made a living as a farmer, educator, and postmaster.  He provided college educations for both his children.  Mittie Alma died in 1956 and William never re-married.  However, he lived long enough to enjoy his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. 

 Daddah Van Hoy [pronounced “DAH-dah”] this round is dedicated to you! 

With courage and tenacity of character, you carved a noble life for yourself, in spite of early losses and disadvantages.  With compassion, you cared for others, including your little sister.  Today, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for the lives of Uncle Mac and Aunt Sally.  Because of their open hearts and open home, all of William’s progeny owes a debt to them.  May we live to model our lives after them.   

 Coram Deo,

Margo

Dear Faithful Praying Family & Friends:

All I know about boxing is what I learned from the 1940’s film, “The Bells of St. Mary,” with Ingrid Bergman and Bing Crosby.  Here is a quote from my friend, Georgia, encouraging me in my fight against breast cancer: 

“The title of your blog [“Margo’s Corner“] reminds me of a boxing ring . . . We, your friends [and family], are standing and praying with you in your corner, helping you put on your gloves and head-gear:  faith, courage, peace, as you go against your opponent, cancer and his cronies:  fear, discouragement, etc., in the opposite corner.”

It occurs to me that each chemotherapy cycle is called a “round,” another handy reference boxing.  Well, I am very grateful to have each of you in my “corner” because the bell is just about to ring:  This coming Tuesday, November 17th, is the third round of chemo.  Please continue to pray that the chemotherapy would be effective in eradicating any cancer cells.  Also, please pray for a minimum of short-term side effects and for no long-term side effects.

By the way, the technician said that the [unofficial] results of my echocardiogram look normal.  I’m very thankful!

“I will lay me down in peace and take my rest: for it is Thou Lord only that makest me dwell in safety. Into Thy hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit, for Though hast redeemed me, O Lord Thou God of Truth. Amen.’” [Lancelot Andrews, English clergyman, 1555-1626]

Coram Deo,

Margo

Dear Faithful Praying Family & Friends,

I know many of you are keeping track of my Chemo Schedule and are praying mightily for Round 3.  Well, you have an extra week in which to pray because Chemo Round 3 is delayed by eight days:  Round 3 will be Tuesday, November 17.  The reason for this delay:  I had an echocardiogram scheduled for November 4 but it was rescheduled for Tuesday, November 10.  Dr. Carroll needs the results of this  test before proceeding with Chemo Round 3.

The delay of Chemo Round 3 will fit into my schedule nicely, to allow me optimal healthy days, during December 7, 8, & 9th, when my daughter, Haley, will fly out to be with me and we will go to the Messiah Sing!  If you are in Tallahassee, see www.tallahasseemusicguild.com for details.  Please pray for safe travel for Haley, to and from Waco, TX. 

Dr. Carroll is also willing to schedule Chemo Round 4 so that I will feel normal & healthy for Christmas Eve, when our family [including Daniel, Haley, and Benjamin] will attend St. Peter’s Anglican Church for the Evening Worship Service.  Joy!

Thank you for your care & concern, for reading this blog, for commenting, for your snail-mail, email, phone calls, gifts, and for all your many expressions of love & affection.  And always, always, thanks for your continuing prayers! 

Next weekend, I will post another installment in my Heroes series, with photographs!

Coram Deo,
Margo

All Saints’ Sunday

Dear Faithful Praying Family & Friends,

Honestly, Chemo Round 2, Days 4-10 were rough [no ER visit, however!].  I began to feel normal on Day 11 and this morning I went to worship and tonight I enjoyed “Soup Group,” which we host in our home and which is the highlight of my week. Soup Group is the weekly Sunday Evening Supper & Study for Graduate Students & Faculty. We always serve homemade soup and lately, dear friends have offered to take a turn making soup for us. [Thanks to Patty, Margie, Jessica, and Kris!]  This semester, we are discussing “Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church,” by N T Wright.   This has been a challenging, yet fascinating, book to study and discuss. 

Now, back to this morning:  “All Saints Sunday: Is a holy time when we celebrate all the people of God, those now living on this earth and those who have passed into the greater life, who together form the mystical Body of Christ.  New members are welcomed into Christian life in the Sacrament of Baptism. We also remember all who have lived and died in faith, with whom we know we’ll be reunited around God’s heavenly throne.  Banners are displayed for children who are baptized on this day, and a procession of banners for those who have departed this life in the past year streams to the altar in remembrance.”  [from St. Peter’s Anglican Church Service Leaflet]

What a poignant and emotional morning is All Saints Sunday, for me, every year, because I usually know the family of at least one of the persons who has died.  The Entrance Hymn, during the Procession,  is always the majestic “For All the Saints, Who From Their Labors Rest,” during which we [the congregation] stand and sing all eight verses!  [I invite you to ponder the theological depths and riches of that hymn, for I cannot type it out here.]  I will, however, share the first verse with you:

“For all the saints, who from their labors rest, who thee, by faith before the world confessed, thy Name O Jesus, be forever blessed.  Allelluia, Alleluia!”

As I sing the hymn, I see the back of each banner-carrier as he/she slowly processes down the aisle, toward the altar.  The banner-carrier is almost always a close family member of the person who has died. When the family member reaches the front of the sanctuary, he/she turns around and hands the banner to the Verger, who positions each banner so that it faces the congregation during the rest of the worship service. The banner displays the first name of the loved one who has died and underneath is the phrase, “Christ’s Own Forever.”   For just a few seconds, I can see the brave face of the family member before he/she returns to their pew.  This is the moment that I have to compose myself and fight back tears, as I think about the loss, sorrow, and grief of that family.

The Worship Service was especially poignant to me this year –today — and I am keenly interested in understanding the content of the N T Wright.  Is there a connection to my current suffering?  Absolutley!  No matter how brief or long my life may yet be, through suffering, I have been given a gift:  A view of seeing my life as, not my own, but as belonging to Christ.  “You are not your own; you have been bought with a price.  Therefore, glorify God in your body.” [1 Corinthians 6.20] 

May I remember, in spite of the suffering, that I belong to Christ forever!  Please pray for me, especially between Days 4-10, of the next Chemo Round.  These are the days that I am filled with despair and fear.  These are the days that I find it difficult to “glorify God in my body.”  The suffering batters me, weakens me, and renders me unable to think clearly. [Just ask my husband and he will confirm this!]  At those times, I need those of you who are strong to remind me of the truth. 

Coram Deo,

Margo

Dear Faithful Praying Family & Friends:

Be sure and read the Bonus Blog, underneath this one!  It has photos that I think you will enjoy!

Update:  Chemo Round 2 is going better than Chemo Round 1!  I have managed to stay out of the ER and, although I have been sick as a dog this past week, it has been manageable!  I was able to go to the Greek Food Festival for a few moments, ate a gyro, suffered later for it, but still thought it was worth it, after fasting most of the week.  I was able also to participate in Soup Group tonight. Thanks, once again, for praying! 

Stephen read this Scripture to me, from Fr. Michael Petty’s Sermon this morning:

2 Corinthians 2: 16-18

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Please pray for me, that I would see beyond this “momentary light affliction,” that the Triune God would produce in me an “eternal weight of glory,” and that I would see beyond this temporal life, to the promise of eternal life. 

Coram Deo,

Margo

Featured above is the image of my dear friend, David Brewer, who agreed to shave his head in solidarity with me, during my chemotherapy.  Stephen & I have known David and his wife, Sharon, ever since the four of us were undergraduates at FSU, almost 40 years ago! I was not surprised that David readily agreed to shave his head because he & Sharon are well-acquainted with suffering.  For details, see his blog, www.awellbrewedheart.wordpress.com. David is a Christian family counselor and Sharon is the director of a network of women’s crisis pregnancies centers in West Palm Beach, FL.  They have three adult children.

Featured above is the image of Bob & Julie Watts and their two sons, T. J. [left] and Justin [right], who live in Tampa, FL.  Stephen & I have known Bob for almost 30 years; Bob was Stephen’s student in the Computer Information Systems Department at FAMU.  We had the privilege of attending the wedding of Bob & Julie in Tampa, FL, where Stephen served as Bob’s best man.  [I still remember how beautiful the Sacrament of Marriage was!] Bob eagerly agreed to shave his head in solidarity with me, although he admitted that this was not the extreme sacrifice that some would imagine it to be.  What amazed me, however, was that Bob’s entire family got into the “Spirit of Solidarity!” See image below.  Wow!  Such a sacrifice for them.  What an honor for me to have them “in my corner!”

Being bald, as a woman, adds insult to injury, when you are going through chemo therapy.  I think I miss my hair even more than I miss my [ahem] chest.  If you want to join Margo’s Team in The Spirit of Solidarity, it is very simple:  Agree to shave your head until mid-January 2010, when my final chemotherapy will be completed.  Send me a photo of your little bald head plus your permission to include your image and your name, in my blog.  Send email message and attachment of photo to my email address:  marmeepayne@gmail.com.